“The only thing we need to fear is FEAR itself”- Franklin D. Roosevelt
We are taught how important it is to be fearful of everything around us all these years. Right from God to our boss to our school teachers to our neighbours to our failures, the list goes on.
We fear God,
We fear love,
We fear failing,
We fear gossip,
We fear rejection,
We fear appreciation,
We fear sickness,
We fear losing people,
We fear religion,
We fear politics
We fear birth and
We fear death.
These are some of the unwelcomed fears in our journey, only to know that these apprehensions are 90% of your imagination. The remaining 10% are the result of that 90% of your imagination. And if those fears are not sufficient, we even have a different set of phobias such as trypophobia, claustrophobia, fear of water, social phobia, fear of the dark, fear of heights, etc. Seems like our entire life is composed of fears. These are the fears in our journey. We don’t know what to do about it, because we are taught to be fearful, and we don’t know how to experience freedom.
We can only experience freedom if we know how to get over our fears.
Right from birth, we are taught if you do “this”, you will have to face “this” so don’t do it. That’s fear!
The right kind of education brings you freedom more than fear.
But there’s a huge gap between education and freedom. That gap is built up by our own fears.
The second most important thing that parents must teach to their babies should be to “Become Fearless”
First remains LOVE!
Let your child make mistakes and let him discover. That’s how he will evolve. If he will never learn to stumble then he will never learn to walk. That’s the key. We are never taught that way!
Parents usually believe it’s their responsibility to PROTECT their children, but ideally, their only responsibility is just to EDUCATE their children. Instead of telling them “we love you, that’s why we want you to be safe…” replace this statement by saying,
“We love you, that’s why we want you to be fearless, we want you to make mistakes and learn from them, we believe in you”
See the difference by yourself!
The only fears that you should have in life are:
not taking that first step,
not believing in yourself,
not making mistakes,
not becoming independent,
not loving yourself enough.
not afraid of doing the right thing!
As a parent or as an adult, we have to break the stereotype and the fearful boundary we have created. Create positive & healthy boundaries instead of negative ones. We will discuss boundaries in detail in another blog post.
Our Indian education system has been an examination system all this while.
To quote Dr. Radhakrishnan Pillai, an author, Founder of Chanakya Aanvikshiki Pvt. Ltd., he says, ” It is not an education system, it is an examination system”, & yes, I couldn’t agree more with this. Anxiety about passing or flunking an examination has taken more lives than anything else would ever take. According to the reports released by National Crime Records Bureau, at least 4,046 children died by suicide due to failure in examinations (Source- Hindustan Times). This includes fear of facing your parents, fear of facing your friends, fearing the world, and fearing the future. You name the fear & it’s there. How unfortunate right?
Please note that I am not against exams, I am against the process in which examinations are conducted, and I am against the system that puts uncertainty within you that one failure will destroy your career. I have heard teachers yelling at students that their “Career is finished.”
When I mention the process, it has to do with the thought process, & not the literal process of examination. For example- If you fail in a subject or an entire exam, the next step should be to encourage the person to do it better, but instead, they are encouraged to doubt themselves, they are not worthy enough, and they are not allowed to pursue with the next grade. The thought process: Oh no!! You will now have to repeat a year OR Your batchmates are going ahead of you, you will stay behind forever OR You will remain a failure all your life & so on.
Shift the process of thinking. Don’t pass your archaic standard of thinking to future generations. It can cost somebody their life. Break the chain.
Conclusion: After years of observation, half of my life have spent being fearful, because I never knew how to acknowledge them, how to accept them, how to face them, or how to overcome them. It’s crazy! These things are an experience but how about introducing them into our education system? Please note that I am not in any way suggesting including it in our examination system. People need to understand the difference between the education system & examination system. With this, I will see you in my next post and will bring something more to the education system. Do suggest some topics from your end too!
Meanwhile, you may check out my previous blog that talks about Holistic Education https://isnehalsoni.wordpress.com/2021/01/16/holistic-education-a-system-that-can-change-the-world/